Tuesday, April 18, 2006 ♥
Reflections
I am supposed to be studyin for my 2 modules this fri and sat but i have been slacking for the past 5 days since last thurs, i think. Hai~
Dun know why this time i dun feel worried or scared for the finals. Maybe becoz not near to the dates yet or i just heckcare le. But relli, i dun feel much motivation to study as compared to past few sems. This time i have very short attention span and i watch more tv and naruto than usual. Yeah that's my latest addiction. Hai~ It's always nearing exam that all my bad habits surface. i find myself looking for snacks when in the past i could surivive without snacks. I find myself running out of the room to catch peeks of programs or lying on the bed and dozing off. And then i find myself sleepin more lately than ever. and waking up at noon. This is NOT good!!
And i find myself daydreaming more than usual. abt my results what cap i will get, what grades i will score. I know i am wasting my time instead of studyin. Whr is the motivation. Whr is my determination? Why dun i feel stress? at least a bit? Hai~ I am heading for a no route return if i continue like this.
Just last sat i went to Jiahui;s chalet. And it make me think of my own b-day. I will be spending it in CHina.. well... and then yl and diana are holding theirs conscetively. Well...shld i have one too? Who shld i invite? I saw jh frens but all were in diff cliques and we din tok to each other. A bit of strangeness as jh walked away to entertain her other frens. Luckily angela was there with me. But i felt alone and out of place once she went off somewhere for a while. Is this a reflection of my poor self-esteem? I saw the rest in groups and i realise i envy them. Hai~ this feeling of mine has not changed since when?
Am i thinkin too much? or is it alright to think so much?
