Friday, May 25, 2007 ♥
Results out later at 5pm. I am scared to death worrying abt the outcome. Many what ifs..i dun want to stay back for 1 more sem. Have been offered the teaching job at Shichida..i luv the working env but only if the pay was better... I dun wan to secure a job and realise I have to stay back for one more sem..oh god..it's a horrible thought. Plz let me graduate in peace... uni life haven't been exactly wonderful for me.. have said that so many times.. Although the only way to look ahead and plan for the future, sometimes I can't help but wonder what if I have chosen accountancy? I choose maths becoz I THOUGHT I had interest in it..which was true at that time...but it wasn't what I expected. I chose chem becoz it's the only course I cld go to and sth I was familiar with. Today I still feel I wasn't courageous enough to stop my studies and relli sit down to explore my options. Sth I wonder what do I want for myself? I rmb switching over to chem and telling myself to work hard and not to repeat year 1 history.. yeah... it didn't relli turn out gd...I still couldn't achieve my target cap.. I rmb telling myself I dun want to be stuck like year 1, alone and friendless and stress out.. I wanna make more friends and enrich my uni life. I joined SOW which was an experience but i stopped there.. mayb i shouldn't have stopped there after knowing the heavy schoolload wouln't make a diff on whether u were busy anot. There were many ups and downs... friendships formed and broken.. in fact i made more acquitances than friends. Uni life made me into a diff person. I think the change was not a gd one and i dislike it. I was nvr happy from the start of year 1 till nw. Quite disappointed in friendships.. provided i feel i am drifiting away from my nonuni frens as well. All of us lead diff lives now. GOne are days of innocence and those lame jokes that can make pple happy instead of irritated.
I miss travelling. But travelling needs $$. So materialistic right? Even my parents are telling me to reject that teaching job. I think i am cut out for teaching. So why nt enter nie? becoz i dun wan to go into that so fast. When I was in my teens, i wish i can grow up faster but recently i been wanting to go bk to my sec sch or jc days. Even jc frens also changed. How fragile are friendships.
