Tuesday, April 24, 2012 ♥
THe decision has been made. I used to think as long as the opportunity comes, I will grab it. I used to lament about lack of opportunities. But now I have 2 offers on hand, and I have to choose. I did not choose the better one. Pondering over these few days, I thought of many scenarios. What did I want in life? I realize I just wanted a stable career and work life balance. Prospects and pay were secondary. How have I changed? Perhaps is because of age? But I am still considered young. Perhaps is the lack of confidence after been out of the industry for so long. Perhaps I am one of those Gen Y type who cannot take challenges easily. Perhaps...so many perhaps....I used to admire my peers who were so sure of what they want, the earning power they had. I admire them for their courage to charge. I yearned to be like them too. But now, when I am given the power to choose, I went for the safer, less risky route. And the money didn't matter so much to me like last time. Is it because I have become numbed after the long search?
Mayb I think too much. Mayb I have an idealistic view of what I want to have which cannot never happen in real life. Human life is fragile. We only have an average lifespan of 70 years and I do not want to live my life constantly worrying about the future or my ricebowl. After so long, I am not sure what I am interested to do. Now, Having rejected the offer, I only feel a twinge of uncertainty - did I make the right choice?
It's the same for teaching. Did i make the right choice to leave? I guess I am a very indecisive person.
